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Latest Gists

NairaMan Forum / Entertainment / Latest Gists (2 Posts | 194 Views)

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Latest Gists by SamzySamuel(: 9:32 am On Jun 28, 2017

Some foolish Questions Nigerians Ask and Answers You Can Give Back

1. You just wake up from sleep person come ask you "you don wake?"

Ans: No oh, I come buy bread wey I go chop for dream.

2. When its raining and someone notice you going out yet they ask, are you going out in this rain?

Ans: “No! In the next one.”

3. They see you coming out of the bathroom wet, yet they ask, “Did you just have a bath?

Ans: “No, i fell into the toilet bowl.”

4. You’re standing in front of the elevator on the ground floor going to your office, yet they ask, “Are you going up?”

Ans: “No, i’m waiting for my Office to come down and get me.”

5. Someone calls you at 2am , waking you up and asks,”Are you sleeping?

Ans: “No! I’m picking beans.”

6. Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of flowers, and you still ask, “Are those flowers?

Ans: “No baby, they’re carrots!”

7. You are in the toilet and lock the door and someone knocks, asking, “Is anyone there?”

Ans: “No! Na sh!t LOCK DOOR….” Mtcheeeeeeew!!

8. You are in a queue at the cinema to buy ticket, a friend saw you and asked, “What are you doing here?”

Ans: “I’m here to pay my school fees…” ODE!!

9. When they see you lying down with your eyes closed and they still ask, are you sleeping??

Ans: “No! Am practicing death”

10. U see me dey chop indomie come dey ask me, O boy, na indomie u dey chop so?

Ans: No ohhhh... Na fried rubber band mixed with thread.

11. I dey watch film… my guy enter come ask me "Guy na film u dey watch?

Ans: No naa... I dey discuss with Osuofia...

12. You see identical twins, you still dey ask 'na twins be dis'?

Ans: No bros, na Picmix.

13. Is this the internethuh

Drop your funny answers Below


Re: Latest Gists by SamzySamuel(: 9:44 am On Jun 28, 2017

[i]The 10 Hilarious Lies Every Nigerian Child Was Told When Growing Up…[i]

1. “Rain Is Falling, Sun Is Shining, Lion Is The Backyard Giving Birth”
We just hope say the Lion don born finish at last

2. If Your Teeth Falls, Throw It On The Zinc So Lizard Will Take It And Give You Another One.

And those who forgot to throw their teeth on the roof will cry endlessly because they will think it won’t grow again. We hope you guys still don’t have teeth again now abi?

3. If You Hiss Or Whistle At Night, Snakes Will Come Out And Bite You Only if you know the kind slap wey our Mumsy they give us if you mistakenly whistle for Night. She will then say “You want make Sname come this house?”

4. If Your Spit Dries On The Floor, You’ll Lose Your Voice

This one got me for Life. I remember the day I spitted from the Bus only for an Elderly woman to tell me I would lose my Voice. I had to drop from the Bus, Trek back for like 15 mins to clean my Spit from the main road so I don’t lose my Precious voice. I was so angry the day I learnt it was a big lie.

5. If Someone Crosses Over You And Doesn’t Cross Back, You’ll Stop Growing

lol… I hope you all they crossed have stopped growing ehn.. I don cross my friend tire and the guy just dey tall dey go!

6. Eat Beans So You’ll Grow Tall
Heheheheh! This one weak me oooooo

7. If You Look At The Mirror At Night, You’ll See A Ghost
No be only Ghost, Na Spirit

8. If You Draw A Line And An Ant Works On It, Your Mum Will Die Abi she don die now!? Mtcheew!!

9. If You Stone A Lizard & The Blood Touches Your Body, You Will Have Epilepsy

Me wey don kill Lizard with the Blood splashing on my face tire… Nothing do me!

10. If You Eat Dog Meat, Dogs Will Bark At You

We hope our Calabar friends are aware of this also?

Tell us what you think about this Post – Which of the Lies have you heard about?

Also, Add Yours to it and don’t spoil the Fun.

Drop your comments below! and Share


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