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With or Without Car or House: Ladies, Marry Your Man - Family - NairaMan

NairaMan Forum / Family / With or Without Car or House: Ladies, Marry Your Man (1 Post | 1,823 Views)

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With or Without Car or House: Ladies, Marry Your Man by nairaman(m) : 11:07 am On Mar 26, 2016

Marriage-age ladies, you need to read this before making your list of expectations of your dream man.
TonyeBarcanista: I came across a Front Page thread titled Any Guy Who Doesn't Have A House And A Car Should Not Get Married Or Even Date. Out of curiosity, I clicked on the thread to read the article and follow-up comments. Before opening the thread, I anticipated that it would be something that was a product of research (since it was on FP) but I ended up being disappointed. For the sake of a better society, of which the family is an important unit, I shall address the subject.

Though I did encounter similar subject on Palmchat, I have to state that It is very inappropriate for one to assume that a man without a house and car will breed suffering children and cause unhappiness if he goes ahead to get married. This assumption is highly flawed for two major reasons

The first reason is that it wasn't a product of any research. There is no research to establish that a single broke guy is a potential poor married man if he decide to .marry without first establishing himself. on the contrary, we have seen a once poor single guy that made it big after getting married and bearing kids. One good example is former President Goodluck Ebelemi Jonathan. He met his wife Patience when he was a junior lecturer in Rivers state college of Education. He had no car nor house of his in Portharcourt when he married her but he never remained in his relatively poor state. Together with his supportive wife, he rose to the positions of Deputy Director OMPADEC, Deputy Governor, Governor, Vice President, Acting President and President. Aside Jonathan, there are other prominent examples. The present Governor of Ekiti state Ayo Fayose used to be a taxi driver(even when he was married), but with support of his wife, he rose to Governor first in 2003 and later in 2014. Sen Musliu Obanikoro was a very broke man when he was a young man. A son of a tomato seller that was married with two kids and still poor. With support of his wife he never remained in such state. He not only became a Local government chairman, he also became a Commissioner, Senator, Ambassador and two time minister of this country. What about Rauf Aregbesola? Okezie Ikpeazu of Abia? Rocha's Okorocha of Imo? Or the celebrated Bola Tinubu of Lagos? Outside the political circle, we have seen men and women rise to prominence even after starting family life in penury. Some of our parents started family life in poverty and hunger but are not so today. These are practical examples and not some philosophies. Owning a House or a car was never a factor for these people.

The second flaw in that thread was that it portrays the woman to be a necessary liability in marriage and relationship. In my opinion that was an insult on female folks. Ideally, no woman is ever a liability in marriage irrespective of whether she earns through paid jobs or not. Wives and sane fiancées usually offer quality and valuable advice to their man to build them and push them up the ladder. Some ladies go beyond that to get themselves jobs or a business in order to aid the family in addition to quality advice. Wives usually advice their husbands on career choices, money management and family administration. It is an established fact that thw best adviser of any successful man is his wife. Which once upon a time determined but broke man will not advance with such woman as a wife? To women's advantage most men don't joke with the woman that contributed in his growth irrespective of whether it is financial or moral contribution. Jonathan never joked with his wife Patience despite her glaring flaws, Ayo Fayose, Obanikoro etal don't joke with their wives(a Google search will do). Even my father doesn't joke with my mother irrespective of whatever troubles that may occur.

One thing we may agree on is the fact that while every hardworking and determined young person has the potential to make it in life, it is imppssible for everyone to be financially stable at the same. However, delay in hitting big should never mean delay in starting up. A young man only need to keep working hard, earn something at the end of the day and improve on himself. Not forgetting prayer to the creator (for the religious). Opportunities will definitely come.

Finally I am not advocating that ladies only search for broke men, but saying that if a lady finds herself in love with an hardworking, dedicated but not yet made man, she should embrace him, motivate him, support him and marry him(all things being equal). It may be challenging but history has shown that it pays.

May God Bless Us With Wisdom And Crown Our Efforts.

May The Good Lord Bless Nigeria.
  

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